A Midnight Reflection

Thoughts the Night Before Leaving for Peace Corps Cameroon

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The Peace Corps is something I’ve always known I’ve wanted to do. Well, for as long as I’ve known about the Peace Corps, which was my sophomore year of high school. Why do I want to do it? I have not a clue. Many have asked me why I have agreed to live in a less-developed country halfway across the planet for two years, and I haven’t given anyone the same answer. It’s partly because there are many different factors but mostly because I don’t know the answer myself.

Hopefully, these next two years help me find my purpose because I think that’s what I’m so desperately looking for. I have big plans. I want to get a master's degree and then a law degree when I get back. I’d love to work for the international criminal court, be a supreme court judge, or maybe the secretary of state, a foreign diplomat, or a Peace Corps volunteer for however long they’ll tolerate me. Perhaps I’ll just travel the world or adopt some dogs in Cameroon and be content for the rest of my life.

Basically, you get the point — I don’t know what I want. And I don’t know if I’m ready to decide what path I’ll choose to take or what this journey means to me. Maybe I just want to go for the sake of the journey itself. Or to prove that the girl from Appalachia can go beyond what was ever expected of her. I really don’t know, but for now I can at least speculate.

A big part of me craves the challenge associated with being alone, with limited running water, electricity, and internet, away from everyone I’ve ever known and loved, and having to speak a language I don’t know to people who have never met me.

I don’t think I’m anything special for joining the Peace Corps. I really think anyone can do it because I don’t know if I can do it. I have had a manicure and pedicure since my junior year of high school. I fix my hair every day and wear some makeup most days. I love to buy new clothes and wearing nice jewelry, and I’m just as addicted to my phone as everyone else. I take what my dad calls “marathon showers,” and I DoorDash way too often.

Right now, I feel like all the things I listed are things that I will struggle to live without. But, if I really think about the goals I have for my future, I know that working for other people and serving those different from myself are at the forefront. I also recognize that the life I live isn’t one shared by a majority of our planet, and in order to be the best I can be for those around me, I feel that I need to gain some perspective. As I search for perspective, I hope you stick around to do the same. I think it’s something we can all benefit from.